Honestly right now I have a millions thoughts buzzing around in my head right now. And I feel like the only way I can organize them is my blogging about it. It's such a stress relief to blog.
My first feeling is gratitude and sadness. A girl a my school recently took her own life. It was soo so heart breaking. Although I didn't know her personally, it ripped me apart to see my friends that knew her personally to go through something this traumatic. Chances like this give you time for a reality check. It makes you think of all the many things that you have to be grateful for. I'm so so grateful for my life and especially the gospel. I'm soo happy that I have it in my life.
It also made me think of everybody out there that feels like this poor girl did. I can't imagine this feeling of being lost and so lonely. It's so hard to imagine a body that feels so alone in this world that they wanted to come out of it. It really makes me think twice about what I say. And think more about people who need a simple hug.
Lastly I feel confused. I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing. I feel like everything I'm investing my time into gives me no reward in return. What am I doing here? And why? Why am I talking to you if I know that I shouldn't be. Why am I spendin so much time in softball. Do I want to play college ball? Or is this just a hobby. Does any of this even matter in long run? And if it doesn't then what does. I'm just livin on sweet nothing.
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